hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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