I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
