and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize