On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
