I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Randomize