Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
My vagina is officially offended.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Randomize
