I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
