I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
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