Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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