Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize