i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
