I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
