I feel great
I just peed on a car
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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