I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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