I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
It's official drugs can't kill me
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
