you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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