i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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