Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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