Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
