He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
