I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize