His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
