I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
