on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Everyone says I win the strip club
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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