yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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