Porn is love you can see.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
