my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
