How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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