You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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