how can u be prego again
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
as a side note pls kill me
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
