He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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