I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
