That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
