Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
organizing the empties. That sober.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
