come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
