"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
this beer tastes like vomit already
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
