so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
