This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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