I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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