if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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