Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
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