she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
