I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
