I think I am morally bankrupt
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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