the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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