And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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