no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
she peed on how many people?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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