this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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