I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize