Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
