So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
