I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
