Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
