just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
