Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
