haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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