I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
