So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
