I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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