i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.