Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it