This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Randomize
