I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
